Monday, June 1, 2020

A Poem Or Two

Hello dear readers!
So as you've probably noticed, I've thrown all sense of consistency with this blog out of this window. This is for a few different reasons, such as mental health, busy life, and sometimes completely forgetting this blog exists. However, I'm still trying to keep it active sometimes, if only to have something to look back on and say "yeah, this is something I did once upon a time, look at the progress I made on it".

*Cue digging through recent google docs to find something I've worked on to share because I didn't plan ahead as usual*

So something that I've been working on lately is writing poetry. I'm hoping to publish a book of poetry soon, and currently I'm in the content-producing phase, which is the first out of three or four stages. I'll move into organization next, where I pick which poems go where and lay them out, then edit and work on formatting the document, and finally find a publisher of some sort. Anyway, the point of that step-by-step detail on how to write a book of poetry was to say, I'm sharing a couple pieces of my recent poetry in this blog post for ya'll to enjoy (kinda like a sneak peek)! Enjoy!

Home
"Go" says the sun, "go home"
And the clouds and the ground say
"Go home"
"We will see you safely on your way
Light your path, providing shade, providing soft earth to travel on"
Trees and sunbeams, birds and beasts, say
"You are safe here, but home needs you. Go home, we will still be here when you return,"
"Go home.
It doesn't matter where your home might be,
Go home."

But the moon and the sea,
Stars and water,
Tell you "come"
"Come home"
"We know where you belong, and we will welcome you,
You may rest and be weightless, worryless,
Come home"
The man in the moon extends his hand
The water waves invitingly
The stars dance for you,
All singing "come,
Come home, there is dancing and food and sleep,
There is music and warmth and an absence of gravity,
We love you,
Come home."

My Hands, My Story
These hands
My hands
know my story
and tell it well.
My hands know
what my eyes see
inside of me
what my mind thinks
of what is inside of it
what my heart knows
about what it contains
And my hands know how to tell a story.
These things bleed through
in words, in smudges of graphite and paint
in motions, in actions
in my very existence
I am open open open
and there are still things you’ll never know about me
I am also closed.
But these hands
these hands know
and they tell my story well
they speak my thoughts well
they say my words better than my mouth will
My hands speak of flowers and broken shards
rebellion and anxiety
contradiction, and agreement
fear and bravery,
selflessness, selfishness
selfish selflessness
stubborn silence and silent stubborness
My hands tell of happy childhoods and sad pasts
old past love and new bright burning love
tenderness and anger
and a gentle trembling that once was rage.
My hands know
and my hands speak.


Wednesday, May 13, 2020

The Cobblers

Hello, dear readers! I am aware it has been forever since I've posted, I apologize but I really don't have an explanation.
Suffice to say I'm posting again finally and will try to post more regularly again :) Anyway, here's a story I wrote recently as I've been working on my spy organization, Arrow!



The Cobblers

In spy lingo, a “cobbler” is somebody who puts together secret identities and creates cover stories for undercover or retrieval agents and their missions. Arrow has a group of five to seven cobblers, their job being to work together or separately to come up with unique identities and stories for the various missions and agents that are thrown their way. The teamwork, quick wits, and friendship of the team is absolutely essential.

Elizabeth “Bats” Everkin strode confidently down the hallway, satchel slung over one shoulder, glasses slipping just slightly down her nose as she walked. She pushed them up with her shoulder out of habit as she scanned each door she passed, looking for her destination. It wasn’t long before she stood in front of a wooden door with a smaller glass pane set inside- the kind of door you’d see on a classroom or a hospital room. In fact, it was a hospital room, or it used to be at any rate. When the old hospital was revamped into Arrow’s covert operations base, door replacements had been low priority.

Bats paused for a moment, hands on her hips as she looked up at the door. The plaque next to the door, which was supposed to be denoting the intended purpose of the room, was covered up by a piece of plain white, printer paper. The title “The Cobblers” was scribbled on it in pen, along with doodles of fruits and slices of dessert cobblers, with varying artistic styles and competence. Some of the doodles were very good, and had a small initial next to them- U. M. Some were barely recognizable, and U. M were the only initials present on the paper.

After another moment of studying the sign and the door, Bats opened the door and walked inside, nudging her glasses back in place once again as she did so.

The quiet hum inside the room fell to a sudden hush as she stepped in and looked around. Four individuals and five desks were scattered at random intervals in the somewhat sizeable room, and everyone in the room looked up to glance over the newest member.

“She’s here!”

The first one to speak- or sing, more like- was a short girl in the back of the room, sitting up straight and waving excitedly.

“Yeah, we see that, ‘Nore,” another member, a dark haired boy, responded, getting up.

“I’ll get the supplies,” someone else volunteered, slipping into a closet in the corner.

“Welcome to the Cobblers, we have, well, cobbler,” the person closest to her smiled, shutting her laptop.

“It’s tradition,” the short girl in the back announced, making her way through the maze of desks, tables, lamps, and filing cabinets. “I’m Eleanor!”

“Hi,” Bats responded, smiling. “I’m glad to be here,” she announced.

“I know! And I’m glad you’re here too,” Eleanor nodded, finally reaching Bats to shake her hand.

The dark haired boy approached the two. “Hey twins, clear the circle, would you?” he instructed, before turning to Bats. “I’m Ulysses Markey, what’s your name?”

“I’m Elizabeth Everkin- I like to be called Batty or Bats, though,” she said, looking up at the serious, but kind face before her.

“Nice to meet you, Batty,” he nodded, shaking her hand.

On the far end of the room, the lady who’d been closest to the door pushed around some filing cabinets to make a large circular space on the floor. A boy who looked exactly like the filing cabinet lady emerged from the closet with his hands full of paper plates, printer paper, pens and markers, and plastic utensils.

“I’m Jube,” he called to the small group at the door, carrying the supplies to the newly created circle.

“Joy!” the filing cabinet girl shouted, waving. “We’re the twins!”

“C’mon, Tiago will be here with the food soon,” Eleanor announced, grabbing Bat’s hand and tugging her to the circle.

Sitting with Joy on one side and Ulysses on the other, Batty was brought into the group of Cobblers amid much laughter and sugar. Upon Tiago’s arrival with several different kinds of cobbler, she learned that Tiago was more or less the leader of the vibrant group. By the time the dessert was finished, she’d also found out that Jube’s full name was Jubilation, Ulysses and Eleanor were deep in both love and denial, and Joy’s emo, hair-covering-one-eye, shy-schoolgirl haircut belied a super outgoing, cheery personality to rival Eleanor’s. Not to mention Ulysses Markey were the U. M initials she’d found on the handwritten sign outside the door.

Finally, the fast-paced, entertaining conversation turned to a more focused topic.

“Every time we get a new Cobbler, we make the sign again,” Tiago told Bats, passing around pens. “The new member draws the words, and the rest of us decorate it. Ulysses goes last because he takes too long to draw,” he added with a laugh.

The rest laughed good-naturedly, even Ulysses, but then the group fell silent as a piece of blank paper was passed to Bats. She looked down at the paper, pen in hand, still for a moment. With the utmost care and her best penmanship, she carefully wrote down “The Cobblers” directly in the center of the paper. As soon as she finished the last curve of the last s, a warm, hearty cheer went up and the paper was passed around, soon filled with colorful drawings of cobbler, peaches, blueberries, apples, bananas, and lemons. Once the sign was completed, Ulysses handed the paper to her, along with a roll of scotch tape.

“Would you like to do the honors?” he smiled, nodding towards the door.

Bats got up and moved toward the door, the rest of the group rising and following behind her. She carefully removed the old sign and taped up the new one in its place, examining their colorful handiwork for a moment.

“Welcome to the Cobblers,” Tiago announced, patting Batty on the back.

“Welcome,” Eleanor repeated cheerfully.

“Welcome, glad you’re here,” from Ulysses.

“Hope you enjoy your stay! Welcome!” Joy added.

“Welcome to the Cobblers,” Jube spoke up lastly, giving her a smile.

Batty grinned, looking around at the group that she’d only just met, but already loved with her whole heart.

“So when do we start?”

Saturday, February 23, 2019

On Being A Quiet Person- Pros and Cons

Hello, dear readers!
If you know me, you know I can be described by almost everyone as "quiet". Even though I can talk too loud when I'm excited, and you can hardly get me to stop talking when I'm on a roll, I still don't speak up very often and my voice is nearly always too soft. Now, I don't exactly dislike being a quiet person. It does have its perks and it's not the worst thing ever. But it still comes with it's drawbacks, and there are times I wish I were anything but 'the quiet one'. Today I'm talking about both sides of being a quiet person.

The pros:
1. You hear a lot when you're not talking. I've learned so much about people just by listening to conversations instead of partaking in them. You can tell certain things about what some people say and don't say, you can pick up on a lot of subtext and context, and overall it's just interesting to study the way people say things in certain situations. I know that might come off as sounding a bit weird and creepy. I promise I'm not judging you when I'm listening to you talk to someone else. I just like listening more than I like talking.

2. People don't question it when I don't enter in conversations. In fact, unless it's directly initiated with me, I'm rarely expected to partake in a conversation. This is mostly useful when I either have no interest in what's being discussed or I simply can't focus and would rather zone out and delve into my own thoughts than talk to people.

3. I have to know you really well in order to speak my mind or talk to you at length. You always know when I'm comfortable around you when I go on for five to ten minutes about my latest story or characters. It normally either has to be very important or very late at night for me to speak up in a group of more than three people, so you always know what I have to say is worth listening to. And that helps because when I finally speak up, people sometimes listen.

The cons:
1. Being "the quiet one" is a label that sometimes feels restrictive and permanent. Sometimes I wish I could open my mouth and jump right into a conversation without second-guessing myself. I often wish I could be as expressive verbally as I am when I'm writing. Especially when I'm trying to convey something important to me and I can't seem to express it correctly, or I keep stuttering.

2. I get talked over and ignored a lot. Even though people occasionally do listen to me, as I mentioned above, there is still a multitude of times when I start to say something and people just don't seem to hear. Like I said, my voice is still very soft most of the time, and it's difficult for me to speak up, especially if I'm entering into a conversation for the first time or if it's in a very loud environment. Being talked over is actually one of my biggest frustrations, especially when it happens with my family or my close friends-- like they should know better, even though it's not their fault.

I know several of my friends who read this blog can relate to what I'm saying-- and I know a lot more people who don't. I hope this was insightful and informative, and I hope it helps you understand "quiet people" and what it really means to be one. And most importantly, I hope you have a good week!
-Kaytie

Saturday, February 9, 2019

Some Nice Feelings (To Make Up For Today's Sad Post)


  • Waking up when you have several hours left to sleep. You're comfortably tangled up in your blankets and sheets. You're not too cold, but not too hot. lie there listening to the silence and feeling the movement of your own breathing, letting your mind relax and fly in whatever direction it wants to until you doze off again. 
  • Stargazing at night, either alone or with someone. Relaxing music is playing in the background as you stare at the infinite sky peppered with stars and galaxies. It's a comfortably warm night and you can feel the hard surface of the top of the car underneath your back. A soft breeze plays through your hair and you are at peace with your place in the cosmos.
  • Energized on caffeine and adrenaline. You're on top of the world and you can do anything. You can feel energy running through your veins like blood. The sky is electric blue and you reach out and touch it.
  • Softly tired. You finished everything and now you're relaxing. You like the way this tired feels, not demanding for rest, not the raw insistence of sleep-deprevation. You drink a hot cup of tea slowly and savor the moment before changing into warm pajamas and spinning into sleep.
  • Peace. Everything is at peace. Things are going on all around you, but you are content to sit there for a moment, just watching and listening and thinking. You cherish a long minute that is yours alone, yours to feel. Then you get up and get back to it, finishing on a productive and cheerful note before calling it a day. You might not go back to that moment of peace, but it's a golden minute to remember.

Phobias-- A Sad Poetry Vent

[Dystychiphobia-- the fear of hurting someone]

The words left behind a ringing silence
before they screamed back
and they left.
They are hurting and it hurts you.
You are sorry
You are sorry
You are sorry
but they are hurting
and it is hurting you.
They will not accept
an apology
or you
or lies
not anymore.
They are hurting
and it is hurting you.

[Athazagoraphobia -- the fear of being forgotten or replaced]

They say you never die until the last time your name is said.
Are you dead?
You still breathe
but nobody's said your name in a while now
and you've almost forgotten
the sound of it.
One night you practice it
lying alone in your
silent
room, your words falling
dead across your lips
the words that you own
the words that you are
unfamiliar.
They say you never die until the last time your name is said.
You died that night.

[Thantophobia-- the fear of losing someone]
You remember it
the moment when you realize
things will never, can never
be the same.
You'll never see them again
or you'll never see them in the same way again.
They're gone.
Do you remember?
The way it feels?
Like getting punched in the gut
like everything is falling-
falling down around you-
until you're falling too
falling
falling
falling down
"London bridge is falling down"
echoes
like a broken music box
in your ears
until finally you hit the ground and it hurts
there's no other words for it
it just hurts.
Pick your head up
this is the first time
and it won't be the last
but you'll live
you'll live
you'll live
and rise again


Sunday, January 27, 2019

Facts About Space, Because Space Is Cool And I Have Nothing Better To Write

Space is really big. Beyond infinite, and still growing exponentially. It's impossible to count the stars in space-- scientists currently use the amount of stars in the Milky Way to estimate, and that number is 200-400 billion stars in the galaxy. With potentially billions upon billions of other galaxies in space, it's physically impossible to comprehend the amount of stars in space. 

Halley's Comet won't appear again until the year 2061. I will be 59 years old. 

Scientists may have found a planet made out of diamonds. A planet named 55 Cancri e may have a surface composed completely of graphite and pure diamond according to research done by scientists at Yale University. The planet is 400 lightyears away from planet Earth but shines in the constellation Cancer. 

The Andromeda Galaxy is approaching the Milky Way – where our solar system is – at rate of around 110 kilometres per second, and eventually the two will collide to form a giant elliptical galaxy.

In space, if two metals of the same kind touch each other they will permanently bond. This is called cold welding. It occurs because with nothing between the bare atoms, the two pieces have no way of knowing they aren't the same piece. This is impossible on Earth because there will always be air and water in between atoms. 

Astronomers have found a massive water vapor cloud which holds 140 trillion times the mass of water in the Earth’s oceans somewhere around 10 billion light years away – making it the largest discovery of water ever found.

On Venus, one day is longer than an Earth year. 

In space, the human spine straightens out since it is no longer being pulled down by gravity. You can become up to 1.97 inches taller in zero gravity. 

Space is closer than you think. Space officially begins at the universal marker of the Karman Line. This invisible boundary is 100km above the Earth. In theory if you could drive your car upwards, you could be in space in less than hour.

The core of a star reaches 288,000,000,32 degrees Farenheit. If a single grain of sand were that hot, it would kill someone from 93.2057 miles away. 

In the past twenty years, we've discovered over a thousand planets outside our solar system.

Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune could all fit in the space between Earth and the Moon.

Sunday, January 20, 2019

Introducing a New Universe (Aka, the reason I keep designing new characters without developing them, oops)

The Lafaye Universe-- History and Characters

History:
Way back at the beginning of the world, humans and the non-human groups, dubbed “magics”, co-existed in peace. The magics kept to their own business and the humans kept to theirs, and everything was alright. But as time went on, people began to realize they knew very little about magics and what they were capable of, and humans fear what they do not understand. Due to some un-condoned, violent acts committed by a certain group of dragons, this fear was only strengthened. Eventually, the humans gained enough power and political influence to have every single magic transported to a large, habitable island in the Atlantic, positioned almost exactly in the middle between North America and England. This transference is referred to in history books and by legend as The Separation. The magics were only agreeable to The Separation because the leaders hoped to avoid war, and because the humans had agreed to provide food, resources, and all current technological advances to the island. The island was still aware of what was going on in the world around them—all the current political events, the wars, the natural disasters, the news—and they had the same advancements in science and technology. They weren’t completely sealed off, just contained.  Even though the magics showed no sign of rebellion or wishes to leave the island after they were transported, the humans thought it best to add security measures as time went on, building first fences, then walls, then electrical securities as time progressed. As the magics settled in, most ill-will and rebellious thoughts either cooled away or were carefully kept quiet. The humans were kept educated about the magics, what little they knew of them, and the political leaders strove to keep their memory from disappearing as best they could.
Time passed.
Politics shifted, as did people in powerful positions, and new ideas began circulating. The government eventually decided that, if they were careful, magics and humans could potentially co-exist once more. They began incorporating more and more knowledge of magic’s culture, abilities, and differences into public education and knowledge, teaching into two or three generations how to live side-by-side with magics. On the flipside, magics were also taught about human cultures and differences. This was to prepare both sides for the eventual release of the magics, to avoid problems such as cultural clashes and racism from taking place. The magics were released into the world on July the 14th, and three-fourths of the population moved away from the island and into the worlds, almost half of the movers immigrating into the USA. This major event is referred to as The Union.
Despite the government’s best efforts to prevent it, racism, intolerance, and clashes did ensue among the people. Many occurrences such as restaurants refusing service to magics, hate crimes against magics community buildings, protests, and so on took place, causing discontent and further protests on the magic’s side. The government has stepped in and passed laws that changed some of it, but there is still much malcontent, hatred, and racism present in today’s culture.

Character Profiles:


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Name: Charm LaFaye
Age: 16
Race: Hamadryad (forest-spirit)
Personality: Rebellious and ready to fight. Lives on the streets, claiming she ran away from home. Hates the government/society that discriminates against her and people like her. Joins protests and riots whenever she thinks it's worth it. Will start fights with anybody, besides her friends. If she really likes you, there's no getting rid of her. Maintains a street-tough image to survive among the rivalries and gangs out on the streets. Practices herb/witch type magic and follows the phases of the moon, despite the fact that witch magic is illegal. Has three magical tattoos-- a bunny that hops around all over her right arm and likes sleeping just under her elbow, a raccoon on her other arm that also moves but only shows up at night, and a branch of flowers covering the right side of her neck and collarbone that change and bloom differently depending on the season.
Likes: Herbs and candles, dragons, cacti, fistfights, standing up for what she wants/believes in, protecting her close friends, the moon, watching the sunset/sunrise, sodas in glass bottles, enchanting things, trees
Dislikes: The government/society, her past, coffee, pollution, being proven wrong, weakness, know-it-alls, tight spaces, physical contact
Fears: Dying without purpose, being forced to return to her old life, claustrophobia 
Habits: Wakes up early to watch the sunrise every morning, throws herself into situations without thinking, fidgets with the choker she wears, constantly speaks without thinking
Song: King-- Lauren Aquilina, Boy In The Bubble-- Alec Benjamin

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Name: Tiral Hidsway
Age: 18
Race: Human
Personality: Ambitious, friendly, bold. Wants to be seen as equal. Unafraid of people's judgment.
Likes you unless you're rude. Dreams big, and follows them. Poet and baker, has published a book
of poetry and works at Vea's Bakery. Stands up for people, but in a non-violent way. Has magical
tattoos across her face-- stars that change places and number depending on a variety of factors,
they never look the same twice.
Likes: Words, tea, her job, kind people, space aesthetics, courage, quotes, being warm,
music, uniqueness, daydreaming
Dislikes: Pie, rude/judgemental people, being confused, the dark, being interrupted, the cold
Fears: The dark, being misjudged/perceived as unkind, losing what she loves
Habits: Writes quotes/random words on her arm-- always has a pen, can't sleep with at least a little
bit of light, bites her nails when she's nervous
Song: Rise Up-- Andrea Day, Saturn-- Sleeping at Last

miaran
Name: Miraran Lian
Age: 20
Race: "One of the Forgotten" (a race of warrior-types specifically dedicated to protecting ideals, groups, or sovereigns, forgotten as time passed and the magics were separated-- most died out)
Personality: Distant, daydreams a lot. When focused, she teases and jokes a lot. Dislikes society and it's views, but understands the government is at least trying to fix the problem, and thinks the laws should be upheld. Tries to discourage the protests and riots. Has a small rivalry with Charm because of that. Keeps a small gang of other magics together, and more or less leads them.
Likes: Quiet, her group, dreaming, flying, hot cocoa, freedom, jokes
Dislikes: The rebellious, Charm, being trapped, riots, questions about her/her family/her race
Fears: Being trapped/unable to fly, losing the last remnants of family she has

Habits: Tends to immediately take off and fly for a few hours when frusterated, wings flare widely when she's experiencing a strong emotion, gets lost in thought and spaced-out very easily.

So there you have it, a brand-new universe that I've been working on for a couple months now. There are other characters, less developed than these, that I'm still working on, and a few more aspects of this world I have yet to explore-- but there's a start! Thanks for reading this far- I know it was long ;)
-Kaytie