On Being A Quiet Person- Pros and Cons

Hello, dear readers!
If you know me, you know I can be described by almost everyone as "quiet". Even though I can talk too loud when I'm excited, and you can hardly get me to stop talking when I'm on a roll, I still don't speak up very often and my voice is nearly always too soft. Now, I don't exactly dislike being a quiet person. It does have its perks and it's not the worst thing ever. But it still comes with it's drawbacks, and there are times I wish I were anything but 'the quiet one'. Today I'm talking about both sides of being a quiet person.

The pros:
1. You hear a lot when you're not talking. I've learned so much about people just by listening to conversations instead of partaking in them. You can tell certain things about what some people say and don't say, you can pick up on a lot of subtext and context, and overall it's just interesting to study the way people say things in certain situations. I know that might come off as sounding a bit weird and creepy. I promise I'm not judging you when I'm listening to you talk to someone else. I just like listening more than I like talking.

2. People don't question it when I don't enter in conversations. In fact, unless it's directly initiated with me, I'm rarely expected to partake in a conversation. This is mostly useful when I either have no interest in what's being discussed or I simply can't focus and would rather zone out and delve into my own thoughts than talk to people.

3. I have to know you really well in order to speak my mind or talk to you at length. You always know when I'm comfortable around you when I go on for five to ten minutes about my latest story or characters. It normally either has to be very important or very late at night for me to speak up in a group of more than three people, so you always know what I have to say is worth listening to. And that helps because when I finally speak up, people sometimes listen.

The cons:
1. Being "the quiet one" is a label that sometimes feels restrictive and permanent. Sometimes I wish I could open my mouth and jump right into a conversation without second-guessing myself. I often wish I could be as expressive verbally as I am when I'm writing. Especially when I'm trying to convey something important to me and I can't seem to express it correctly, or I keep stuttering.

2. I get talked over and ignored a lot. Even though people occasionally do listen to me, as I mentioned above, there is still a multitude of times when I start to say something and people just don't seem to hear. Like I said, my voice is still very soft most of the time, and it's difficult for me to speak up, especially if I'm entering into a conversation for the first time or if it's in a very loud environment. Being talked over is actually one of my biggest frustrations, especially when it happens with my family or my close friends-- like they should know better, even though it's not their fault.

I know several of my friends who read this blog can relate to what I'm saying-- and I know a lot more people who don't. I hope this was insightful and informative, and I hope it helps you understand "quiet people" and what it really means to be one. And most importantly, I hope you have a good week!
-Kaytie

Some Nice Feelings (To Make Up For Today's Sad Post)

• Waking up when you have several hours left to sleep. You're comfortably tangled up in your blankets and sheets. You're not too cold, but not too hot. lie there listening to the silence and feeling the movement of your own breathing, letting your mind relax and fly in whatever direction it wants to until you doze off again. 
• Stargazing at night, either alone or with someone. Relaxing music is playing in the background as you stare at the infinite sky peppered with stars and galaxies. It's a comfortably warm night and you can feel the hard surface of the top of the car underneath your back. A soft breeze plays through your hair and you are at peace with your place in the cosmos.
• Energized on caffeine and adrenaline. You're on top of the world and you can do anything. You can feel energy running through your veins like blood. The sky is electric blue and you reach out and touch it.
• Softly tired. You finished everything and now you're relaxing. You like the way this tired feels, not demanding for rest, not the raw insistence of sleep-deprevation. You drink a hot cup of tea slowly and savor the moment before changing into warm pajamas and spinning into sleep.
• Peace. Everything is at peace. Things are going on all around you, but you are content to sit there for a moment, just watching and listening and thinking. You cherish a long minute that is yours alone, yours to feel. Then you get up and get back to it, finishing on a productive and cheerful note before calling it a day. You might not go back to that moment of peace, but it's a golden minute to remember.

Phobias-- A Sad Poetry Vent

[Dystychiphobia-- the fear of hurting someone]

The words left behind a ringing silence
before they screamed back
and they left.
They are hurting and it hurts you.
You are sorry
You are sorry
You are sorry
but they are hurting
and it is hurting you.
They will not accept
an apology
or you
or lies
not anymore.
They are hurting
and it is hurting you.

[Athazagoraphobia -- the fear of being forgotten or replaced]

They say you never die until the last time your name is said.
Are you dead?
You still breathe
but nobody's said your name in a while now
and you've almost forgotten
the sound of it.
One night you practice it
lying alone in your
silent
room, your words falling
dead across your lips
the words that you own
the words that you are
unfamiliar.
They say you never die until the last time your name is said.
You died that night.

[Thantophobia-- the fear of losing someone]
You remember it
the moment when you realize
things will never, can never
be the same.
You'll never see them again
or you'll never see them in the same way again.
They're gone.
Do you remember?
The way it feels?
Like getting punched in the gut
like everything is falling-
falling down around you-
until you're falling too
falling
falling
falling down
"London bridge is falling down"
echoes
like a broken music box
in your ears
until finally you hit the ground and it hurts
there's no other words for it
it just hurts.
Pick your head up
this is the first time
and it won't be the last
but you'll live
you'll live
you'll live
and rise again